Day of Memorialization

Any of you that know me know that I'm incredibly patriotic, almost to a fault. I get goosebumps when military aircraft fly over sporting events. I get incredibly angry when people are disrespectful during the playing of the National Anthem. I get all weepy-eyed when I hear songs like America the Beautiful (as sung by Ray Charles), Lee Greenwood's 'God Bless the USA', and even 'The Angry American' by Toby Keith. I cried when Congress sang 'God Bless America' on the steps of the Capitol after 9/11, as well as when two UGA grads waved a flag in Baghdad on Foxnews at 3 in the morning, while the Anchorman said 'How 'bout them Dawgs?'. I have an American flag pinned to my bookbag as well as one in the back window of my car and on my front porch. I've been to Ground Zero on the 4th of July, and to several rallies for our troops.

However, despite all of this, a lot of times I'm disappointed in myself. Today is one of those times. Despite the fact that it's Memorial Day -- a day supposedly set aside for the remembrance of those that gave their life defending this country -- the most patriotic thing I've done all day is watch a special about D-Day on PBS. The rest of my day consisted of going shopping, eating, going to a movie, eating again, and putting stuff in my room into a 'DC pile' and a 'Staying Home pile'.

I didn't visit either of my grandfathers' grave sites, despite the fact that one was a bomber pilot in the Pacific and the other was an artillery gunner in Europe during WWII. I didn't organize/attend any sort of gathering to commemorate the occasion, and quite honestly I haven't spend much time today thinking about the sacrifices of those that gave their lives for their country and mine.

This makes me feel kinda dirty, and in a way unworthy. It's not that I'm at all ungrateful or even lazy -- I think I'm just complacent.

It's because of the men who have died that I don't have to live in constant fear of attack or invasion by a hostile nation. It's because of them that I can go out and spend time with my friends and family in a peaceful nation. It's because of them I can read a book on virtually any subject from virtually any point of view, instead of government produced propaganda. It's because of them that I can speak German only if I want to, nicht weil mein Führer sagt mir ich muߟ. And it's because of them that I can sit at my computer late at night and bullshit stuff that people can read all over the world.

Someone a lot smarter than I (but incidentally with the same name), said as much, but with more eloquence:

It is the soldier, not the reporter,
who has given us freedom of the press.

It is the soldier, not the poet,
who has given us freedom of speech.

It is the soldier, not the campus organizer,
who has given us the freedom to demonstrate.

It is the soldier, not the lawyer,
who has given us the right to a fair trial.

It is the soldier,
who salutes the flag,
who serves under the flag,
and whose coffin is draped by the flag,
who allows the protester to burn the flag.

--Charles M. Province

Sometimes I'm simply amazed at the opportunities and luxuries afforded to me because of the sacrifices of men and women that never knew me, and that I've never known. Forgive me if it's too cheesy, but I can only hope that I'm living my life in such a way that would do their sacrifice justice. I can only hope that our country today is something they would be proud to have defended.

I like to believe that it is, but there are some aspects of our nation that worry me. The collapse of the family unit (as evidenced by the ballooning divorce rate, rampant illegitimacy, and the push for same-sex marriage), the decline of our entertainment standards to the point that popular shows consist of people eating horse rectum and sheep eyes, as well as the exponential dumbing-down of our children by a public school system so bent political correctness and not hurting anyone's feelings that history, the arts, and educational standards have given way to the likes of cultural relativism, pop culture, and social promotion.

No longer are children being taught of the challenges, sacrifices and triumphs of the generations before them. They're taught that our Founding Fathers were racist; and that while there are countries in the world that starve their own people to death and stone women for being raped, America is no better and they have to 'respect the beliefs' of these people, because there is no absolute right and wrong by which to judge such things.

No longer are they taught to aspire to the likes of George Washington, Martin Luther King, Jr., and Abigail Adams. Their heros are now people like Eminem, Tupac, and Paris Hilton.

No longer are children held to rigorous academic standards. Either the bar is lowered taccommodatete lackluster performance, or poor results are ignored altogether and children are advanced anyway in order to prevent from hurting their feelings or making them feel isolated from their peer group.

As this year's Memorial Daunceremoniouslyly comes and goes, I'm left with a few thoughts. First of all, the United States of America continues to be the sole true beacon of freedom, liberty, and opportunity in the world; and those that have given their lives in her defense are truly deserving of a hero's memorial.

Secondly, we have been entrusted with the survival of this beacon; and if we're not careful, its light could fade to the point where it is no longer visible and morally relevant. Not to be overly pessimistic, but looking at the current and future generation of Americans, I'm not convinced that we're up to the task. I'm not convinced that those generations quite understand what they've been given, and I'm not convinced that they would readily defend it -- or understand why it's worth defending -- should the challenge arise.

And finally, I'm not convinced that we're on the right path to justifying the sacrifice of those that gave their life defending our freedom. Given the current state and direction of our nation, would her former defenders be proud of their sacrifice, or would they feel misused?

I would much rather believe the former; but then Paris Hilton gets another TV show, and George Patton and Dwight Eisenhower roll over in their graves.

Not that anyone cares, but...

So it looks like the European Union is dangerously close to not having a ratified constitution. It seems that the citizenry of France isn't all too thrilled with ceding any of their sovereignty to the English or Germans. Likewise, the English and Germans don't seem to want to cede any sovereignty to the French.

The French people are likely to vote 'no' on the referendum. The English are more or less hoping that happens so an English referendum will be more or less pointless. But in typical socialist fashion, French President Jaque Chirac has vowed to disregard the will of his people in the interest of the 'common good'.

For once, I agree with the French. Why should they have to sign a constitution with a bunch of people they can't stand? When was the last time any two countries in Europe could agree on anything (except for hating George Bush)? Aside from the fact that they all hate each other, they don't even speak the same language or share the same culture. The main reason for the Union in the first place is to balance America's power, which they have no hope of doing. And that kind of realism starts wars. We saw how well it worked in 1914.

Actually, I could really care less about the whole thing, I just wanted an excuse to play around with links. Plus I like seeing European politicians look like idiots. It's funny to me.

Hippies and their cancer

I was watching Fox News today, and they were talking about a study that showed that sun screen actually causes more cancer than it prevents, and that being in the sun actually prevents more cancer than it causes. Fantastic. I'm never listening to them again. I'm going to eat a ton of eggs (fried eggs), followed by a nice, bloody, rare steak (veal steak), while driving around in a convertible with the top down (no sunscreen), and the gas cap off. Just to prove a point.

But what I found more interesting is that people in the Northeastern United States and Northern Europe are more likely to get skin cancer than those in the south. Now, the study claims that this is because during the winter, these areas don't get enough direct sunlight to start the production of vitamin D, but I think we all know the real reason.

It's just God's way of punishing people for being Yankees and socialists. It also said blacks are more likely than whites to get cancer, but making a joke out of that almost seemed too easy.

Perhaps the causes of skin cancer are more ideological than previously thought. Think about it...who's more likely to get skin cancer? A white guy from Macon, or a black guy from Boston? Race aside, where would you think these respective people fall politically? Spiritually? This brings me to only one conclusion -- being a liberal causes cancer. Much like the Sodomites were turned into salt for being gay, people all over the world are being smitten with skin cancer for being godless liberals. If they have any hope for survival, they must repent and change their ideology to one that finds more favor with the Lord.

Oh, and if you're all pissed off after reading this, lighten up. It's just a joke. Everything except for the part about blacks and people in the North getting more skin cancer. That totally happens.

Ok, seriously, you're really reaching this time...

So Star Wars Episode III came out a few days ago. I haven't seen it yet, but I heard it's pretty good. However, I've also heard that it is a commentary on the Bush administration. To this I say -- :::sigh:::.

You can't be serious. First of all, the original story was written some 30 years ago (I'm not exactly sure on this, as I'm not a Star Wars buff, but that seems about right). Either way, it certainly wasn't written between 2000 and now. Hey, maybe he was commenting on the Carter administration. You never know.

There are some lines in the movie that people point to that seems to parallel Bush's 'red-meat', hardline speeches. Things like 'If you're not with me, you're my enemy.' Ok, yeah, Bush has said 'You're either with us, or against us.' Fair enough. But keep in mind, he was talking about religious fanatics that aim to kill/convert the entire planet to their 'religion'. I don't think anyone has any qualms with being against people like that. And if they do, well, screw them. You don't have to be colluding with terrorists to be aiding them. Some famous guy once said 'all that require for evil to flourish is for good men to sit idly by'. This is true. You can be as good as you want, but if you're going to sit around and let someone be evil, your being good is pretty pointless.

Another favorite line of those wishing to use a science fiction film to make a political point is when Queen Amidala (or whoever Natalie Portman plays) says 'This is how liberty dies...with thunderous applause...' Oh yeah...that's definitely talking about the Bush administration. Because as we've all witnessed over the past 4 and a half years, liberty in this country has ceased to exist. Books have been burned in the streets, the media has been nationalized, political dissenters have been jailed and tortured to death, we're no longer free to practice whichever religion we choose, and we're all required to pay homage to our dear leader, George W. Bush. Or was that somewhere else?

It's always curious to me that people claim that Bush has turned this nation into some fascist theocracy. Because when asked for an example of such, they just kinda trail off or say something about the 'Patriot Act'. The Patriot Act, of course, is based on the ridiculous notion that being a terrorist and plotting to kill people is illegal. Also, when these people are asked if they've even read the Patriot Act, the answer is almost universally 'no'.

Why is it that the United States is always associated with oppression and a lack of liberty and freedom? Why not North Korea where political dissenters are jailed and tortured to death, and the civilian citizens are starved while the military gets the vast majority of what little food the government has?

Why not Saudi Arabia, Iran, or pretty much any other Middle Eastern/Islamic country where religious minorities are routinely jailed, tortured, and killed? They also stone their women to death for doing shameful things like being raped or taking off their bee-keeper suits in the frigging desert. What a bastion of freedom and liberty that place is.

Also, when considering the merits of these claims, it's important to consider the people making them. These accusations first popped up at the Cannes Film Festival. These are the same people that gave Michael Moore a 20 minute standing ovation for his demonstrably false 'documentary'. These people crave anti-Americanism. They pine for anything to validate their beliefs and make them feel a part of that 'I hate America' club that so many in this country and around the world need to make themselves feel like an intelligent intellectual.

I guess my main point is, IT'S A FRIGGING SCIENCE FICTION MOVIE. You can make of it whatever you like. For example, I believe that Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers is a parallel to the rise and fall of the Third Reich and its effects on the Russian economy. Or, it could just be about a bunch of midgets and a magical ring. It's debatable.

And so what if George Lucas did make the movie about the Bush administration? I fail to see how that validates anything. If you feel all smart by 'reading between the lines' and seeing contemporary social commentary in Star Wars, more power to you. But to everyone else, you sound like an idiot.

Random musings indeed

First of all, I have a new address. I dunno my apartment number yet, but here's the building:

2634 15th Street NW
Washington, DC 20009

It's going to be quite a change moving from here to here. But that's ok. 'It's a great opportunity' and blah blah blah. I guess. So long as it gets me closer to writing my best-selling book, becoming a millionaire, retiring at the age of 30, wife, kids, big house in the suburbs, white picket fence, dog, etc. all on my way to becoming the youngest president ever elected. Starting now, I've got 14 years. We'll say 15 just to get a little padding. But if I wanted to be the youngest president ever elected, I'd have 21 years. So we'll see. As far as Presidents from Georgia go, I'd only have to be better than Jimmy Carter, so it wouldn't be that hard. We'll see if the electorate in 2024 is into a Southerner from the religious minority with a speech impediment and penchant for speaking without thinking. It's worth a shot. Heh...and maybe by then they'll have a cure for stuttering, and I'll be unstoppable. Bwah ha ha...ha...hmm...I've already said too much. Moving on.

When I was in DC, I was walking down the sidewalk when I noticed what appeared to be a grouping of homeless people. There were a bunch of sleeping bags, a bunch of snack food packages lying around, makeshift tents and chairs, and it looked like they'd been for some time. However, something was amiss in this group. They seemed a little too young, too well-dressed, and too well-groomed. As I walked farther down the line, I noticed some more oddities. First of all, these people were entirely too jolly to be homeless. To paraphrase Chris Rock, a real homeless person is too hungry to be jolly. Then I noticed a television and an XBox, accompanied by the hum of a tiny generator. Whoa whoa whoa...what's the deal?

Then all of a sudden it all made sense. I was standing in front of a theater. There were Yoda action figures near some of the sleeping bags, some kid was running around with a plastic light saber, the majority of the 'homeless' people were sporting shirts with the likes of Darth Vader, C3PO, and young Annikan Skywalker emblazoned across them. One of the chairs was actually an inflatable Darth Maul head. These people were in line for Star Wars, of course. Bear in mind, this was Tuesday at about 1:00 in the afternoon.

Now don't get me wrong, I'm not knocking these people. If that's your thing, have at it. Although, I do highly recommend downloading the clip from Conan O'Brien where Triumph the Insult Comic Dog makes his rounds at a similar function from the last Star Wars episode. It could very well be the funniest thing you'll ever witness.

But it got me thinking...there's not a whole hell of a lot I'd wait in line for 3 days for. The earliest I've ever been for anything was 4 hours early to a Ben Folds concert, and I wasn't even the first one there. I did, however, get there early enough to secure a spot on the first row of a general admission show; and seeing as how it was the most incredible concert I've ever attended, it was well worth it. But other than that...I just can't justify camping out for 3 days without dressing up in camouflage and shooting at something with four legs. The dedication that these people have for a movie series is quite impressive. If I put half that dedication into my career, I'll be running this show in no time. But for now, sleep. I've got a big day of destroying my liver ahead of me.

Lessons from DC

I just got back from a whirlwind trip to DC looking for a place to live starting in June. It was hectic, and I spent most of the time running around like a madman, looking at apartments that I either couldn't afford, or my mother refused to let me rent. On a side note, I think I found a pretty nice place. We'll see if it pans out. More info on that as it becomes available.

At any rate, on my two day rampage, I learned quite a bit. I learned that I really do love that town. I really get into the whole 'rat race' thing. People riding the Metro to work at their big, important jobs, diplomats double-parked in a handicapped spaces at some important meeting about changing the world, 20 year old interns trying to get to a restaurant and back on their 30 minute lunch break, the monuments, the old buildings, the street vendors, the protests, the history. It's just my thing.

The more I think about it, the more upset I get that I'm probably a short month away from having it suck the life right out of me and absolutely hating it. But we'll see.

I also learned that there's a reason for everything.

For example, if you find a hotel that's in DC for $75 a night, there's a reason it's $75 a night. These reasons could include, but are not limited to:
-Your hotel being located in the DC equivalent of Spanish Harlem
-Your hotel being adjacent to a train yard that operates 24 hours
-Your hotel attendant being behind an inch of bulletproof glass after dark
-A 'Continental breakfast' that consists of stale cereal, make-your-own toast, and warm orange juice
-A non-functioning remote control in your room
-A smell that says 'Maybe the extra $50 for the Holiday Inn would've been worth it...'

Likewise, if you find an apartment for less than $1000 a month, there's a reason it's $1000 a month. These reasons include, but are not limited to:
-The apartment being located in the DC Equivalent to Harlem. Not Spanish Harlem. Just Harlem. And without the entertainment of the Globe-trotters.
-The apartment being renovated...from 1940's appliances to 1960's appliances...
-Bring-your-own A/C
-Being able to walk from one end of the apartment to the other in 4 steps or less
-Laundry? What laundry?
-The same kitchen set-up found in most RV's from the 80's
-Mandatory gang membership

However, I also managed to learn that the Hertz NeverLost system is very well one of the best inventions man has yet been able to muster. If it weren't for that thing I'd still be somewhere in a DC ghetto trying to find my way back to the airport.

I'm sure there's more...but it'll have to wait. I'm entirely too exhausted for this.

And another thing...

I've been talking a lot about immigration lately, and I really don't mean to beat a dead horse, but this is exactly the kind of crap I'm talking about.

So this guy named Raul Garcia-Gomez was at a baptismal party for his daughter, and for whatever reason he leaves the party, and again, for whatever reason, the two off-duty policemen that were working security for the party don't allow him back in. How does Garcia-Gomez react? Well, by shooting the two policemen, of course -- wounding one and killing the other.

To me, this raises several important questions like 1. Who needs security at a baptismal party? and 2. What kind of father brings a gun to his daughter's baptismal party? and 3. What the hell is a baptismal party?

Oh, and Garcia-Gomez was an illegal immigrant. Shocking, isn't it?

And here's the best part (I'm in a rather irritated, sarcastic mood tonight) -- Garcia-Gomez has likely fled to Mexico, where laws prevent criminals from being extradited to the United States when they have the possibility of facing the death penalty or life in prison. So, in all likelihood, this absolutely worthless human being is going to get away with this horrific crime. A woman has lost a husband, and two children have lost a father. Killed by a man who, had our immigration laws been enforced, would not have been in this country in the first place.

Sadly, this is not a new phenomenon. There is a growing list of Americans that are victims of violent crimes committed by illegal aliens.

I like to think of myself as a reasonable person, but hearing news like this makes me genuinely angry. I find myself feeling a growing disdain for illegal immigrants. Up until very recently, I thought people that got all riled up about illegal immigration were over reacting, and people like Bill O'Reilly who wanted to militarize our Southern border were out of their minds. But, not so much anymore. Not when innocent people are dying at the hands of people who have no business being here in the first place. I realize people get killed by U.S. citizens every day, too...but in the interest of prevention, shouldn't our government do its job to ensure that illegal immigrants don't have the opportunity to commit a crime?

It's time our government took serious action to prevent the flood of illegal immigrants from spilling over our borders. I don't claim to have the perfect solution, nor do I believe that we should close our borders to everyone. However, I do know that what we're doing now isn't working, and I believe that we should do what every other rational country does and enact immigration laws that allow the 'good' in and keep the 'bad' out.

Oops. Our bad.

So apparently this Newsweek report that, as a means of interrogation, U.S. soldiers at Guantanamo Bay would desecrate the Koran -- is wrong.

The report sparked violent protests all over the Middle East, in which dozens of people were killed and our armed forces were needlessly subjected to violence.

However, Newsweek is printing an apology that will run tomorrow. Whew. That's good. I'd hate for anything bad to happen because of a false news report, and at least they took care of the problem before anyone got hurt.

This is just more evidence that Newsweek is a reputable magazine with no political agenda, and makes every effort to ensure its facts are correct before running a story -- especially a story that could possibly portray the American military/Bush administration in a negative light. It also helps to dispel those nasty rumors going around that major media institutions in this country lean drastically to the left and are bent on slinging mud whenever possible at those with which they disagree. Because that's never happened. Ever. And anyone who tells you as much is nothing but a crazed, radical, right-winged conservative that does stupid things like believe in God and think there are moral absolute likes right and wrong.

Ouch. I think I pulled something on that last one. Next time I try to be so sarcastic, I should probably stretch.

Thanks for playing. Try again.

I haven't posted anything political in a while, and since that's pretty much going to be my job in a few weeks, I figure now is a good a time as any to keep my skills sharpened.

I've been thinking a lot lately about the American political system and the game of politics in general. See, I'm a political purist. I believe that given the proper information, the institution of democracy will function correctly and people will make the right choice. This doesn't bode well for me as I'm moving to Washington DC...the land of lobbyists, misinformation and political corruption. I'll probably be disillusioned in...oh, I dunno, I'm guessing just a shade under 3 seconds.

At any rate...the current state of affairs in American politics is pretty depressing. There's a lot of bickering, misrepresentation, and opposition for the sake of opposition. Not only that, but with increasing frequency, too many politicians and their associates are simply wrong. To me, this raises the question...at what point do we stop listening to these morons?

Exhibit A: House majority leader Tom DeLay has been repeatedly accused of ethics violations. However, he has repeatedly offered to produce evidence to prove he has not. What's more, when asked just exactly which ethics law was violated, those making the accusations metaphorically look at the ground and shuffle their collective feet.

Exhibit B: UN Ambassador Nominee John Bolton has had one of the most intense confirmation hearings in history, and the only discernible reason is because he yells at people and doesn't like the UN. Doesn't like the UN? All that means is that he reflects the average American. Some 80% of Americans don't trust the UN. And so what if he yells at people? What, do we want someone to go to the UN and be nice to France, Iran, North Korea, Sudan, etc? We see how well that's served us in the past.

Exhibit C: When Social Security was founded in 1935, there were some 50 workers for every retiree, and the retirement age was 65...that wouldn't be a big deal if the average life expectancy wasn't 62 years. 62! That means the average person had been dead for 3 years before they were even eligible to collect their benefits. That's like raising the retirement age to 80. At any rate, currently there's a little more than 3 workers for every retiree, and the number will only decline. There's a problem! It needs to be fixed. All democrats have done is vow not to change it, and hugged FDR's statue. Way to go. That'll solve it.

Exhibit D: Shockingly similar to the Tom DeLay scenario, several of President Bush's judicial nominees have been accused of being 'right-winged extremists', but when asked for examples of such extremism, the accusers fall strangely silent. But yet a small faction of senators refuse to even allow a vote either way on these people. And a tactic that would require a vote and allow the majority opinion to rule in a democracy has become known as the 'nuclear option'. Since when is it unreasonable to ask a senator to...well, do their job?

Exhibit E: Pretty much every prediction made about the Iraq war has been proven wrong. 'It'll just be another Vietnam!' Well, in terms of casualties, since the invasion began a little over 2 years ago, right around 2000 Americans have been killed. At this rate, we'd have to maintain that rate for the next 56 years to reach the toll of Vietnam. Naturally, it's a tragedy any time an American soldier is killed in action, but to compare Iraq to Vietnam is just simply inaccurate. 'The elections either won't take place or will be postponed!' They were right on time. 'The elections will be a disaster!' 8 million people voted. 'Even if the elections do take place, the Iraqis will elect an Muslim extremist government, the Shiites will use their majority status to exclude the Sunnis and Kurds, and a civil war will break out!' No, no, and no.

Exhibit F: Going back in history a bit, Democrats well terrified by Ronald Reagan because he was supposedly going to get us all vaporized by increasing our nuclear arms. Well, turns out he caused the USSR to spend itself into bankruptcy, and we're no longer under the threat of WWIII at a moment's notice.

Exhibit G: Slightly before that, President Jimmy Carter (what a source of Georgian pride he was) wanted Americans to accept the fact that America's best days were behind her, and we should get used to the idea of, well, pretty much sucking from here on out. Oops. Wrong again.

Exhibit H: Pretty much anytime communism has been tried, it's failed miserably. Check out the Worker's Paradise of North Korea. What a utopia that is. The USSR? Oh that's right...we already covered that... China? You can't even call that economy communist anymore. The same goes for socialism. Look at Europe. 50% income taxes, rampant unemployment, and a floundering economy. Can we please admit that it's not working?

I could go on, but you get the idea. These people are repeatedly wrong, and drastically so, yet they're still listened to like they still know what they're talking about. It really annoys me because these idiots teach this crap to their children and unsuspecting college students, who then become idiots themselves, and the cycle continues until eventually the American populous and government is full of spineless, brainless morons...oh wait...

Well just call me John Kerry

I have a plan. (Only political nerds like me are going to get the connection between the title and the first sentence. If you don't, it's ok. Election 2004 humor.)

Anyway...I blog a lot when I don't have anything to do. But I really do have a plan. See, my parents have been wanting to throw me a graduation/leaving town party, and while I appreciate the sentiment, their idea of a party involves aunts, uncles, grandparents, neighbors, and other people twice my age.

Whereas my idea of a party involves a keg, loud music, plastic cups and a ping pong ball. And since the two don't really go together well, I'm thinking of having two parties. One at my parents' house, and one at my empty-ass apartment in Athens.

I don't really have the details worked out, but I'm planning on next Friday night in Athens, and next Saturday or Sunday in Fayetteville (the 20th and 21st-22nd for those of you scoring at home).

Plus, most of my friends in Athens wouldn't be up for the 2 hour drive anyway.

Like I said, I don't really have the details worked out, and the effort I put into this is going to be directly proportional to the number of people that are interested in coming. Those of you in the Fayetteville/metro Atlanta area are welcome to come to the Athens shindig...it'd probably be alot more fun. You can definitely crash there if you like. Anyway...let me know what you think, and I'll get started on the planning.

Another weird e-mail

Apparently more people read my blog than I thought. Today I got another interesting e-mail about (I'm guessing) my post on immigration. I'm pretty sure it was written in spanish and then run through one of those translation websites, just because it sounds a little strange.

Hello:
I`ve read with great interest your thoughts and opinions on mexican people. There are somo points L agree withyou. One needs to be a jerk to laugh about a tragedy like the one that took place on sept 11. It only shows the poor cultural level and education of that or those who behave like that.I understand your anger and the reason why you wrote those words about mexicans. Let me tell you something please. I am mexican. I live in Mexico and, even here, we deeply dislike that kind of people who we call "nacos", which means incult, ignorant an jerk. Unfortunately, that kind of people makes a big number in this country and is responsible to fill with shit our reputation and our nation`s reputation. Please. I`d ask you as a favor, a very special favor, to learn more about what Mexico really is and what most mexicans really are. I apologize, in behalf of Mexico, that horrible behavior you talked about.

Please feel free to answer.

Antonio Zamorano

So I guess my blog readership has expanded from people I know to a Neo-Nazi and some guy in Mexico. It seems I'm well on my way to becoming the next Andrew Sullivan...minus the whole 'gay' thing.

On a related note, thanks to Brett for linking to my blog the other day...it like doubled my traffic.

English lesson

The word of the day is 'histrionic'. As in, 'pretty much every girl I know is histrionic.'

Most of the time I can deal with it pretty well, but some days I'm just not in the mood. Today is one of those days.

So what's the deal? Is there some sort of chemical need in the female brain that can only be fufilled by making life more complicated and dramatic than it is (or needs to be)? Is there some secret mailing list that goes out explaining how best to be dramatic?

So, even though it's against my better judgement and I'm probably going to piss a lot of people off with this, I'm going to give a little advice, as well as ask a few questions of my own. I'm going to go ahead and blame this on the fact that I've been in my room painting for the last 3 hours, and the fumes are killing my braincells. Anyway...here we go.

-If there's a guy that is mean to you and makes you cry, avoid him. He's a tool. What? You like him? No. Cut it out. He's a tool.

-They say that Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. This is probably true. That being said, no one is going to want to go out with you if you insist on being some bitter, pessimistic hag. You can either snap out of it and get over yourself, or get used to the idea of living with a bunch of cats. It's your call.

-If there's a decent guy that likes you, and you like him, and there's no actual reason that you two shouldn't be together, don't invent one.

-Don't be upset/surprised when one of your friends gets upset about something you said about them, especially when you post it on the internet.

-Again, stop liking that tool. He just upsets you.

-You're not fat. If a guy doesn't like you, it's not because you're fat. There's something else. The same applies for ugly. However, if a guy really doesn't like you because he thinks you're fat or ugly, he's not worth your time anyway, as he is...you guessed it...a tool.

-There's a difference between infatuation and love. Find it. It's important.

-Infatuation, much like bitterness, is not attractive.

-Don't think that being physical with a guy will make him like you. It won't. It will, however, make him use you.

-If you're going to continue to do the things that make you cry, don't be surprised when you end up crying.

I'm sure I can think of more, but there's only so much typing I can do with one blood-shot eye. I'm going to bed, and it's going to be glorious, for I don't have anything important to do tomorrow.

Only in America...

What in the HELL...

Lessons from College

Being less than a week away from Graduation, I've been thinking alot about what I've learned in the last 4 years I've spent in Athens. Aside from all the random facts about treaties, political schools of thought and Adobe Pagemaker, I've learned a lot of things that I'll actually use in life that don't have anything to do with academics. So in no particular order, here's a list of things that I've learned as a UGA student.

1. All that crap in middle and high school doesn't matter. Everyone that pissed you off is probably either in jail, knocked up, or working at a fast food establishment.
2. People don't change. They just become what they always were. If they appear to change, the version of them that you knew was just a facade.
3. If you can get by in a class without buying books, save the money and spend it on something fun.
4. Live on campus for at least the first year, more if you can. You'll make a lot more friends.
5. There is still no social network comparable to that of the Marching Band.
6. If ever faced with the choice of being stuck in your room and getting an A or spending time with your friends and getting a B, take the B. It'll mean a lot more in 10 years than some test.
7. Redbull is just as good as sleep.
8. Halo and Halo 2 are the most common denominators in any new friendships.
9. Anyone can play BeerPong.
10. Girl roommates can be just as messy, if not more so, than guy roommates.
11. Being on the meal plan is way better than buying your own food.
12. The Facebook was invented so as to facilitate procrastination. There is no other discernible purpose.
13. When people say they 'need time to think', they're really saying 'I need a nicer way to tell you no'.
14. 8 AM classes are worthless.
15. When a professor says they're going to keep their opinion out of their teaching, they're lying.
16. Go home as little as possible your first year. Try to never go home two weekends in a row.
17. If you don't smoke, smoking a cigar after a big football win is not a good idea.
18. Steve Spurrier is the devil.
19. Mark Richt is a genius.
20. Dennis Felton is a brave, brave, man.
21. Karl Marx was an idiot.
22. You'll meet people in college that will make you wonder how they managed to get out of elementary school.
23. Don't sign up for that newspaper subscription at the beginning of the year. You won't read it. 24. Comparative literature is one of the most worthless classes you can take.
25. Cultural geography is arguably the most worthless class you can take.
26. Keeping the HOPE scholarship isn't as easy as it sounds, especially as a freshman taking 6 classes a semester.
27. Jager bombs are one of the quickest ways to get drunk.
28. Everclear is even quicker.
29. People that are worth keeping in touch with, will.
30. Stay away from anyone with dreadlocks, more than 4 piercings, birkenstock sandals, or any combination of the 3.

That's all I got for now. I'm sure I'll think of more later. Feel free to add your own.

Immigration

That e-mail I got a few days ago really made me start thinking about a few things, not least legal vs. illegal immigration. And in thinking about that, it brought back a memory that I didn't really think much of at the time, but the more I think about it now, the more irritated it makes me.

I was on a plane from Frankfurt, Germany back to Atlanta, and I was seated next to a Turkish national. I could tell he was nervous because he kept figgiting with his carry-on and leafing through the magazines in the pouch in front of him.

We hadn't even taxied on to the runway, and he was strapped in tight. I was just looking around the plane when I heard something directed at me. I thought I'd just misunderstood, so I looked at him a gave a little 'Hmm?' with that universal facial expression that says 'Could you repeat that last part?' He said it again, and I'm guessing it was Turkish because it sounded like gibberish to me. I did my best to politely convey to him that I didn't understand, and asked him if he spoke German. He said no, and fished out a Turkish dictionary from his carry-on.

He did his best to have a conversation with his broken English, and noting the valiant effort, I did my best to oblige him.

'You go to visit America?'
'No..no, I live there. I'm going home.'
'You live in America?' he said with a sort of envious excitement and new-found camaraderie. 'I go to live there now, too.'
'Oh really? That's great.'
'I think there are many rich people in America.'
(*Note: At this point, I start to get a little irritated because due to the accent I thought he said 'bitch people')
'Excuse me?
'Rich people. There are many rich people in America.'
'Oh! Rich. Yes, I suppose so...'
'I get job there. Maybe someday I rich too...' he said with a sheepish smirk and a look in his eyes that said 'If only...'

He pulled a file folder out his bag, and handed me a packet of papers. It was his job application and a pile of government forms...likely his visa information and immigration papers. From what I could tell he was going to work at American Adventures in Marietta. How he managed to get that job from Turkey I have no idea.

'Maybe you read, tell me wrong things...' he said.
'Sure.'

I skimmed over the first few lines...'My name is [Turkish guy], and I come from [somewhere in Turkey]. I work very hard, and am very good at speaking, hearing, and written english..."

Figuring he wouldn't have a way to change it anyway and my pointing out mistakes would only make him nervous, I told him everything was fine. Hell, his english was infinitely better than my Turkish, and any employer worth his weight in Ramen noodles wasn't going to send someone back to Turkey for getting verb tenses confused. Plus, the grammatical errors were almost endearing in a way.

I had a hearty scab on my elbow from a nasty fall I'd taken before my trip to Germany. It was more or less healed, but he offered me a band-aid for it anyway.

After the plane landed and before there was a mad-dash for the exit, he handed me a notebook and a pen.

'You give me e-mail...'

I wrote my e-mail address as fast as I could and jumped up to get my bag that had been securely stored in the overhead compartment before take off. I was careful as I opened the latch as the contents may have shifted during the flight.

I didn't really expect to hear from him, and I didn't. The last time I saw him he was waiting for his bag to show up on the conveyer belt. Mine had arrived before his, and as I was eagerly anticipating seeing my family, my girlfriend, and eating food that I could pronounce correctly, I gave a little nod and a wave and bolted for the train.

A lot of times I wonder whatever happened to him. I'd only known him for a few (well, like 12) hours, and I'd already developed quite a bit of respect for him. He was much braver than I probably would've have been in that situation. He'd save up all the money he could, learned a foreign language, and filled out the mountain of paper work and gone through all of the bureaucratic red tape to legally move to that country with the goal of finding a better life. He saw America as a land of great opportunity, and set out to become a part of it. He was the kind of immigrant that made America great.

The more I think about it, the more it irritates me to think that he went through all that effort, and yet every day a fresh new batch of illegal immigrants just stroll across our border with no job, no working knowledge of our language, and no respect for our laws and boundaries. This kind of immigration is harmful to America. Not only economically, but culturally.

No longer is there a sense of America as a 'melting pot'. There is no sense of responsibility to adopt the American culture. Why become an American when you can be a native of your own country while getting all the benefits of America? You can shop at the same stores, eat at the same restaurants, and read the same newspapers. The ATM, grocery checkout, and television are all bilingual. Why learn the language? You're not going to get deported. Why follow immigration laws?

My opinion on immigration often gets me branded as a racist, bigot, nativist, any number of derogatory things. But I fail to see why it's unreasonable to expect people that move to America to...oh I dunno, live like Americans.

I don't have a problem with immigrants, as I said before. They should just do it legally.

I don't have a problem with them being bilingual, but if you're going to live in this country, learn the language and don't put the burden on everyone else to learn yours. If I were to move to Mexico and start demanding that everyone learn English, I'd be laughed out of town. I really don't see the difference.

I certainly don't mind people coming to America to find work. I'm not the kind to be like 'Damn Spic tuck mah jerb!' My opinion is, if someone can do my job better than me, that's my fault, not theirs. Competition is what drives the American economy. However, don't just show up in this country and hang out at Home Depot trying to get day labor. That doesn't help anyone in the long run. There have been reports that between 36% and 42% of illegal immigrants are on welfare. We've got our own downtrodden to worry about. We can't afford to dole out checks to everyone.

Another major concern of illegal immigration is crime. Too many murders, and too much theft, gang violence and drug related crime can be traced back to illegal immigrants. 33% of the prison population in America is non-citizen. We don't need this. We've got plenty of homegrown criminals to worry about without having to incarcerate millions of criminals that have no business being here in the first place.

I guess my main point is there are people out there that play by the rules. They want to come to America legally, learn the language, and be a contributing member to our society. Yet they get crapped on every day by the people who have no regard for the rules. And that's just not right. If you want to live in America, live in America. If you want to live in your country, live in your country. But don't try to change America into your country. There's a reason you're leaving it, remember? And if that reason happens to be to get on welfare or commit a crime, move to France instead. They'd love to have you.

I know I know...I'm a bigot, racist, nativist, elitist, right-winged Nazi, blah blah blah...whatever makes you feel better.

Well alright then...

The following is an actual e-mail I recently received. I don't know who it's from, and it's from an actual address otherwise my SPAM filter would've picked it up. It would be funny if I didn't think the person was being serious. At any rate, I felt obliged to ridicule it. So here it is, verbatim, in its entirety.

"i dont know if you are anglo or not, but i will tell you this, if the aryan(anglo) people do not stop these parasites now we are looking at our own extiction within a few generations. i do not condone what hitler did at all, but he was right about the race factor. the smartest people on this planet are the anglos and asains......thats a scientific fact. if the spics gain control of this country, this place will mirror mexico. our forfathers shoud have specified land of the free and come one come all.....from europe only!! the hell with latrino immigrants their nothing but criminal parasites. "

Wow. Where to begin...

First of all, to my knowledge, I'm not Aryan. So all this 'we' talk doesn't really apply.
Second, I like how he doesn't 'condone what Hitler did, but...' But? But nothing. Hitler was a tool. He wasn't right on anything.
Third, I almost fell off my bed laughing when he said that anglos and 'asains' are the smartest people on the planet. Apparently the person sending this is not anglo or 'asain', as they would be smart enough to either spell their own ethnicity right in the first place, or run the friggin' spell check. Also, anglos would know the difference between the possessive 'their' and the contraction 'they're'.

Furthermore, they must not know anything about the American political system. In order for a group of people to 'gain control' in America, it must be assumed that a. they make up a majority of the citizenry, and b. they have the right to vote. The illegal aliens in the country do neither.

Now don't get me wrong...I'm totally against illegal immigration. But my reasoning is economic and security-related. Supporting a nation full of illegal immigrants, most of which who are very poor and unskilled, puts an amazing amount of stress on the American economy. Also, far too many illegal immigrants are criminals. They're murderers, rapists, thieves, gang members, etc. And aside from that, if it's that easy for some random Mexican to stroll across our border, it's just as easy for some random terrorist to fly to Mexico and stroll across our border as well. And that's just not right.

I really don't see what it would help if a bunch of Europeans were to illegally immigrate here, either. I mean, illegal immigrants are illegal immigrants, regardless of race, religion, creed, etc.

The last sentence doesn't make any sense at all. First of all, there's no verb. Second, what's a latrino? And third, why are they in possession of nothing but criminal parasites?

As I said, it'd be funny if this person wasn't so serious. I mean, it's scary to think that this guy is out driving a vehicle somewhere. And it's even worse to think that he can vote and own a firearm. I've always been a champion of the cause that stupid people shouldn't be able to vote or own guns, and this guy would be the poster boy for my argument.

I only wanna have to say this once...

Normally I don't much like talking about my life, mostly because I don't think it's interesting enough for people to care about, but since enough people have been asking I figured I'd just tell everyone at once.

So for everyone who keeps asking me 'What are you doing after you graduate?'...here you go.

I'm going to be working for the Op/Ed page at the Washington Examiner.

When I start, I'm going to be editing the letters to the editor, fact-checking the Op/Eds, doing sidebars and stuff for Op/Eds, and proposing my own ideas for Op/Eds. Once I 'prove' myself, I'll get to do even cooler stuff like take part in the editorial board meetings, but we'll see when that happens.

So pretty much I get to do what I've been doing for the last year, only now I get paid for it and get to live in Washington, DC while I do it.

They want me to start ASAP, so I'm going to be moving up there in like 3 weeks. I'm thinking of having a gigantic 'holy shit Charles is leaving forever*' kinda party, but I dunno if anyone would come. Heh. Let me know what you think.

So there you go. Now you don't have to ask.

*Forever, in this case, means only as often as I can afford to fly/drive back to Atlanta

Wow.

Well I guess I walked right into this one. But that's ok. You probably will too. Warning: Not suitable for children.