More fun with the Tate Preacher

Sorry I haven't written anything in a while. I've just had so much going on with school winding down and getting a job and everything else that I haven't had any spare time to ramble on a blog post. And while I really should be working on one of the papers due next week that I haven't even started yet, I just feel like rambling. So here it goes.

Thursday was another distribution day for the GuardDawg, so I spent most of my day at Tate Center. Luckily, it was also the day that one of the many fundamentalist preachers decided to grace us with his presence, so I wasn't without entertainment.I almost felt bad for him for the first part of his speech because while he was ranting and raving, literally no one was paying attention, save for the few people like me manning a student organization table. It was quite intriguing to see him carrying on as if he had a massive audience, even though it was pretty deserted. Maybe there was one in his head. I wouldn't be surprised.

However, as the day went on and classes let out, the Tate Center started bustling and naturally his audience grew. Eventually some snotty, know-it-all atheist made the mistake of asking a question in an attempt to make the preacher look (even more) like an idiot, and it was off to the races. Watching these arguments is always slightly sadistic for me, as watching a fundamentalist Christian and an Atheist argue religion is along the lines of watching a Presidential debate between Michael Peroutka and Lyndon LaRouche.I couldn't hear the entire exchange, nor would it be that interesting to repeat it verbatim, but here are some of my favorite excerpts with my own commentary in italics.

"You wouldn't like Heaven because there's no BOOZE in Heaven. There's no SEX in Heaven..."
--Whoa whoa whoa...what? First of all, if someone wouldn't like Heaven, what incentive is there for them to fulfill what you profess to be the requirements to get in? Furthermore, who said there's no booze in Heaven? If you believe in Jesus, you believe he turned water into wine. I've heard Baptists argue that it wasn't really wine, but grape juice. Please. Jesus was Jewish. Have you ever been to a Jewish wedding? Religious service? Shabbat dinner? Any gathering with 3 or more people? There's wine all over the place! If you ask me, there's probably booze in Heaven, but without the 3 am phone calls and e-mails to your ex-girlfriend, and without the hangovers and throwing up. I'm pretty sure there's sex in Heaven, too, but without the accidental pregnancies and topical cream. It probably won't be as dirty as we make it either. But I dunno. I've never been there.

"The only way to Heaven is through Jesus..."
--Fair enough. I mean, it's not my deal, but you're entitled to your belief. But it must suck to have been born before Jesus, or in a place that's never heard of him through no fault of their own. All those people going to hell just for not knowing any better...ouch.

"But there are also people that don't believe in Jesus that get into Heaven..."
--Well that's good to know. But I thought you just said...

"...on the other hand, there are people that do believe in Jesus that go to hell..."
--Ok now I'm confused. I thought you said that the only way into Heaven was to believe in Jesus...but then you said that you don't have to...and even if you do you could still end up in hell. How does all that work?

"This Bible that I have in my hand is in no way contradictory to itself..."
--I would be inclined to agree with that. I've read the Bible, and it seems pretty straight forward. But what book are you reading that talks about bunnies laying painted eggs and children going out and looking for them, and somehow relating it to the resurrection of Jesus? And I've looked all through the New Testament and can't find anything about some fat guy shimmying down people's chimneys and putting presents under a decorated evergreen. It also doesn't mention Jesus being born in the middle of winter. Shepards don't tend sheep in the winter. And what kind of birthday is it when people give presents to each other, instead of the person supposedly celebrating it? That doesn't seem right.

I like to think of myself as pretty reasonable. I can be swayed by a logical, well-supported argument. But when people like this guy get up in front of people and start thumping a book and preaching stuff that isn't even in it, it's not very convincing. A lot of my Jewish friends argue that it's a problem in translation, so it's better to read the original Hebrew. I think they're missing point. How can people like that be expected to read Hebrew when they apparently don't even read English?I'd love to stay and ramble on about my views on religion ('cause Lord knows I've got plenty), but maybe some other time. I'll probably write a book some day. But until then, I've got crackers I gotta go eat.

It's all about the little things

Knowing you're about to graduate college can be pretty depressing, which probably helps explain me quirky moods lately. I feel like I've spent 4 years of my life not really doing anything, not accomplishing anything, and I feel like I've missed a lot of chances.

But the more I thought about it, the more I realized this wasn't really true. Granted, I've not really accomplished anything monumentous in my life, but there are a lot of little things I've done in my life that most people will never get to, and they're things that I'll remember for the rest of my life.

I've played Carnegie Hall. It was pretty much empty, but hey, I can say I've performed on the same stage as the Beatles and a bunch of other famous people.

I've met the Chancellor of Germany and sat in his chair. The two events were two years apart, but happened none the less. Plus I only met the Chancellor for like 3 seconds. Apparently he's pretty important and had somewhere to be.

I've gotten my picture taken with Uga. The skin on his head is really loose. I'm convinced that if you pull it back, he looks like a chihuahua.

I've seen lightning from a plane. It's pretty incredible.

I've been on Bourbon Street in New Orleans at midnight on New Years Eve. Also pretty incredible, but for different reasons. I've never seen that many people in one place before in my life. Nor have I seen so many bare breasts in one place in my life.

I've jumped back and forth between the borders of East and West Germany, chanting 'Communism...Freedom...Communism...Freedom...' as I did it.

I caught an errant pass from David Greene during the Capitol One Bowl just before halftime. That was pretty cool.

I've met Senator Zell Miller, and he knew who I was. Not by name or anything, but he 'knew my work', as it were.

I won a $40,000 scholarship in a piano competition as a senior in high school but turned it down to go to Georgia. My piano teacher nearly killed me/ or had a stroke. I don't regret the decision at all.

I've stumbled drunk through Washington DC at 3 in the morning in December. Among other things, I licked an ice sculpture and Xeroxed my hand at a Kinko's. (There was a group of us, so it's not like I was alone. I still have the xerox.)

I've also stumbled drunk through Berlin and Braunschweig Germany. A lot of my memories involve drunk stumbling apparently.

I've also been to a Concentration Camp that someone I know personally was liberated from. There's nothing funny to say about that, but it's one of those things that you never forget. I don't think I've ever experienced so many emotions at once. Anyway. That could fill an entire blog post. Maybe some other time.

On that pleasant note, I'm going to bed.

An exercise in creative writing

** Disclaimer: The following events may or may not have actually happened, and may or may not have involved actual people. This idea was born out of intense boredom and the avoidance of doing something truly productive. Upon its completion I realize why I'm entering the field of political journalism, and not writing novels. Apologies in advance. I'll never do it again. I promise.


'You know you don't handle change very well.'

'Yeah well, I haven't been exactly thrilled with the status quo either.'

He grinned and looked nervously at the ground, as he is prone to do when speaking aloud about anything regarding feelings, emotion, and all things intimate.

She probably knew what he was thinking, but out of courtesy didn't let it show. It was probably better that way. To address the fact that at any given point he was just a few utterances away from a flood of tears certainly didn't benefit either of them.

She continued talking, but he had long since let his mind wander. Not to say that he wasn't paying her any attention, but rather than her words, he was much more captivated by the movement of her lips as she said them. The small freckle above her upper lip swayed back and forth with every subtle movement, bringing attention to the others sporadically placed around her otherwise flawless skin. His favorite was the one just inside her ear that she probably didn’t even know she had. For a moment, he found himself in his high school english class discussing a Robert Herrick poem professing a ‘delight in disorder’. Suddenly it all made infinitely more sense.

He wanted badly to look into her eyes, but shied away from them -- almost as if he wasn’t worthy, or rather, allowed. Not here. Not today. With the timidity of a young boy entering his parents bedroom during a storm, he pulled his eyes up to hers, only to dart them away at the first inkling that she might be watching.

His stomach swelled with a feeling he hadn’t known in much too long. It was a feeling that, if only for a fleeting moment, everything was right again. He held onto that moment for as long as he could, but soon the demons of logic and reality quickly stole it away.

Amidst the thoughts of long drives, movie nights and dinner dates racing through his head, he noticed an awkward silence. The words had stopped, and he'd not heard a single one of them.
She looked at him as if expecting an answer.

‘Oh, yeah. I-- I know what you mean.’ he said, vainly attempting to feign focus.

‘You weren’t listening, were you?’

He again grinned nervously and with a trace of shame, and felt the warmth as blood rushed to his appropriately embarrassed face.

‘Sorry...I guess I phased out or something. What were you saying?’

‘Nothing. It wasn’t very important anyway.’

She didn’t understand. He wanted desperately to listen. He wanted desperately for her to talk to him, to notice him, to seek out his company. To think of him the way he thought of her. But his own self consciousness would not allow him the freedom to listen. He was much too involved in avoiding saying something uncouth or making a fool of himself. Not to mention that she was far too gorgeous to be talking to the likes of him in the first place.

There was so much he wanted to tell her, if she would only want to listen. He had ideas, plans...solutions. He loved her, but was somehow prevented from telling her as much. She was unapproachable. It didn't make sense, but then again, logic was a luxury not often afforded to these situations.

As she left, he felt the stinging disappointment of another missed opportunity. An opportunity to tell her. To show her.

He watches her until she’s out of sight, then fishes out his pen, opens his tattered notebook and begins scribbling the things he wishes he’d said -- that he’d been able to say. The things that he wishes she wanted to hear. He closes his notebook and makes his way to his car.

‘Tomorrow,’ he mumbles to himself, ‘tomorrow I’ll tell her. Tomorrow will be different.’

Just not today.

Sticky situation

In retrospect, this was a really bad idea. I'll put it back after I make some changes.

Huh.

I'm not exactly sure what to think about this.

People suck.

**Disclaimer: If you're in the mood to laugh or are looking for something funny today, well, it's not your day. You might wanna come back later. This next one is a downer. Sorry. Maybe some other time.

All of my roommates are reasonably big Sister Hazel fans, so by virtue of the fact that they listen to them a lot, I listen to them a lot. I've always kind of liked them, I have their first CD, but was really never that into them. But lately there's this one song that's been striking a particular chord with me. I remember it from high school, so it probably had some specific meaning to me at the time, but now it's a little different.

The song is 'Change Your Mind'. The main part I'm talking about is:

Hey, Hey
Did you ever think
There might be another way
To just feel better,
Just feel better about today

And then:

Yeah yeah
I bet you haven't heard
A word I've said
Yeah yeah
If you've had enough
Of all your tryin'
Just give up
The state of mind you're in

If you want to be somebody else
If you're tired of fighting battles with yourself
If you want to be somebody else
Change your mind...

Well, I know I'm probably totally distorting the intended meaning of the song, but it's my head and I'll do what I want.

I've come to the conclusion that I'm too selfless for my own good. There's a point where being selfless turns into being a masochist, and I think I've been there for a while but didn't realize it.

But now I've realized that I spend entirely too much time putting other people's needs, wants, and feelings ahead of my own, and lately it's done nothing but screw me. I'll drop whatever I'm doing to help a 'friend', I'll stick up/cover for people when they don't deserve it, I'll make myself look bad so they won't, and I'll do it even when I don't get anything out of it.

I'm starting to see that I spend entirely too much time sticking up for people that could care less that I'm doing it, and defending people that aren't much worth defending in the first place.

I spend too much time worrying about hurting other people's feelings when they obviously have no qualms about hurting mine. I waste too much time and effort trying to show people that they're important to me when I'm obviously not important to them, and it's done nothing but piss me off, make me feel stupid, and depressed me.

So, I'm done. It's just not worth it anymore, so I quit. It's exhausting, and after a point, you have to realize that there's a difference between being a friend and being an idiot. So I'm changing my mind.

Sad thing is, the people that this is directed toward probably won't even notice because they're too fucking absorbed in their own in their own lives to give a rat's ass about anyone else's. So this is probably a moot point. Oh well. At least I feel slightly better. Not really, but it's a start.

Screw you guys, I'm going home.

Another tax myth

Every 4 years or so, some liberal goes on television saying how the rich don't pay their fair share of the taxes, the burden falls on the poor, and the Republicans want a tax cut for the eternally evil 'wealthiest 1%'.

Well, that's all a bunch of crap, and I've got the official numbers to prove it.

For those of you who don't feel like poring over a spreadsheet from the IRS, here's the gist of it:

The wealthiest 50% of Americans pay 96.03% of all income taxes.

The wealthiest 10% of Americans pay 64.89%.

The wealthiest 5% pay over HALF of all income taxes, at 53.25%.

The infamous 'wealthiest 1%' pay over a THIRD of all income taxes, at a rate of 33.89%.


The vast majority of 'poor' people in this country don't pay any income tax at all. So the next time someone says the rich people get all the tax cuts, tell them that it's because they pay all the taxes.

And the next time someone says that the poor people in America are poor because they pay all the taxes, and the rich people stay rich because they don't pay any taxes, punch them in the face.

Happy Tax Day

Well, it's tax day. The day when the government expects you to willingly give up to 32% of your income in exchange for things like roads, schools, and general safety. Well, there's a little more to it than that. I recently had to do a project for my legislative process class that dealt with legislation introduced by my assigned senators. In doing the research, I was literally furious at some of the pointless crap that these people spend our tax dollars on. Here are a few of my favorites from the current congress...they still have a year and a half to do even dumber things:

S.RES.88 : A resolution designating April 2005 as "Financial Literacy Month".

S.RES.73 : A resolution honoring the life of Enrique "Kiki" Camarena.

S.125 : A bill to designate the United States courthouse located at 501 I Street in Sacramento, California, as the "Robert T. Matsui United States Courthouse".

S.RES.81 : A resolution recognizing the contribution of Chris LeDoux to country music.

S.RES.98 : A resolution commending the University of North Carolina men's basketball team for winning the 2005 National Collegiate Athletic Association Division I Men's Basketball Championship.

S.CON.RES.19 : A concurrent resolution expressing the sense of the Congress regarding the importance of life insurance and recognizing and supporting National Life Insurance Awareness Month.

S.761 : A bill to rename the Snake River Birds of Prey National Conservation Area in the State of Idaho as the Morley Nelson Snake River Birds of Prey National Conservation Area in honor of the late Morley Nelson, and international authority on birds of prey, who was instrumental in the establishment of this National Conservation Area, and for other purposes.

S.532 : A bill to reduce temporarily the duty on palm fatty acid distillate

S.363 : A bill to amend the Nonindigenous Aquatic Nuisance Prevention and Control Act of 1990 to establish vessel ballast water management requirements

S.RES.20 : A resolution designating January 2005 as "National Mentoring Month".

S.599 : A bill to provide duty-free treatment for certain tuna.

S.106 : A bill to provide for the reliquidation of certain entries of candles.

S.801 : A bill to designate the United States courthouse located at 300 North Hogan Street, Jacksonville, Florida, as the "John Milton Bryan Simpson United States Courthouse".

S.RES.43 : A resolution designating the first day of April 2005 as "National Asbestos Awareness Day".

S.RES.106 : A resolution congratulating the University of Denver Pioneers men's hockey team, 2005 National Collegiate Athletic Association Division I Hockey Champions.

Ahh...such a relief to know that our government is using their time and our tax dollars wisely.

No irony, just idiocy

So I haven't said anything about my cultural geography class in a while. Until today. I swear, my professor seems to look for ways to get pissed off at stuff 'white people' did centuries ago.

Today we were talking about representations in sports (Mascots and stuff like that), focusing on Native American representation. And he says 'I find it sort of ironic that Washington, DC has a sports team named after Native Americans...especially when it was the city that drafted the law that forced millions of Native Americans from their homes and transplanted them in the Midwest.'

I guess.

That's a real round-about way to get offended though. I find it really hard to believe that a bunch of team owners were sitting around in the 40's and 50's like 'Hey, you know how a couple hundred years ago we gathered all them injuns up and shipped 'em to Oklahoma? Didn't that kick ass? Hey, why don't we start a football team in Washington DC and name it after 'em! That'll show them buffalo-eatin' turds what for!'

Pretty much any sports mascot is a stereotype of some kind. I mean, ranchers don't get all pissed off at the Cowboys, steel mill workers don't get all pissed off at the Steelers, beer makers don't protest the Brewers, priests aren't upset about the Padres, people north of the Mason Dixon line aren't offended by the Yankees...you get the idea.

This is America. Face it, we're all stereotypical. We don't mean anything by it, it just makes things funnier.

I'm so sick of people whining about it. 'If someone was stereotyping your ethnicity for a sports mascot, you'd be offended too.' Oh whaaah. The day a major sport comes out with the 'Atlanta White Guys', I'm buying season tickets. Better yet, the Atlanta Jews. So long as the mascot is some burly Rabbi with a big hat. That would rule. Though they'd probably only stay in Atlanta til they were old enough to retire. Then they'd move the team to Miami.

God help us

There are certain people that just shouldn't breed. They make no meaningful contribution to society, and we would all just be better off if they didn't procreate.

A few of these people include:

-Paris Hilton
-Christina Aguilera
-Andy Dick
-Tom Green

And naturally, there are some, like Eminem and Madonna, that shouldn't reproduce but apparently didn't get the memo.

Well, it looks like we can add Britney Spears to that list.

That's right...Britney and her generally worthless husband Kevin Federline are expecting their first child. Personally, I already feel sorry for the kid. As the saying goes 'If you mix stagnant pond water with raw sewage, you're not going to get Evian'.

I'm sure we can look for all sorts of repetitive media coverage as her pregnancy progresses, and we can expect the poor kid to be run into the ground before it even sees the light of day.

Whoopee.

My dog is way better than your dog

As promised, I'm gonna stay away from mainstream politics for a while...well, at least today...and talk about something else.

So here's a picture of my dog. Her name is Jackie, she's about 7 and a half years old, and her hobbies include sleeping, eating, chasing things (squirrels, lizards, toads, anything that moves), and digging under fences.

She does tricks and knows commands, but reacts more excitedly to the phrases 'Mom's home', 'Wanna go see grandma?', and 'Ready to eat?'.

She doesn't like storms and hides under the bed when it thunders. She doesn't bite, prefers catching food to catching frisbees, and is cooler than your dog will ever be.

My Dog

My Dog
Originally uploaded by cwrepine.

Enough already

Ok, every so often there are things that I get just absolutely sick of talking/hearing about. Here, in no particular order, are the things I have no interest in talking or hearing about for a while:

1. Michael Jackson
2. Terri Schiavo
3. The Pope
4. Gas prices
5. Evil Republicans killing homosexuals and instituting a theocracy
6. Judicial nominations
7. Prince Charles' wedding
8. Your relationship drama
9. What I'm doing after I graduate

So I'm going to give my final answers, and then I'm going to shut up about them for a while and talking about things like...I dunno...flowers, puppies. Maybe unicorns. No kittens.

1. Weird? Yes. Guilty? I'm not on the jury.
2. She's dead. Her husband's a douche, but arguing isn't going to bring her back. Moral of the story: write a living will.
3. He's dead. He wasn't God. Quit using him to validate your political agenda.
4. It's not as bad as it seems.
5. :::sigh:::
6. What did you expect? They're Democrats. If they want to filibuster, actually make them filibuster. Got the cots out and have a congressional slumber party.
7. No one cares. Not even England cares.
8. You create it yourself. It's a pattern.
9. I don't know yet. I'll tell you as soon as I find out.

On that note, I'm going home now.

Compliments

I should really be studying for an exam right now, so I'll be brief.

I normally don't take compliments well at all. I always end up red-faced, embarrassed, and looking at the ground in sort of an 'aw shucks' kinda pose. But today I got one that meant a lot to me in a nerdy kinda way.

I got a call from an old friend in High School...REALLY old friend from High School. Apparently he's on the brink of starting a career in politics, and his family is all buddy buddy with my US representative.

Anyway...so he calls me just to tell me how much he enjoys my paper (The Georgia GuardDawg), and that he thinks I'll be the next William F. Buckley. I realize probably none of you know who that is, but he's one of my heros in that aforementioned politically nerdy kinda way.

I don't much like talking about good things people say about me 'cause that opens up the opportunity for people to say bad things, but I liked that last one so much that I had to share.

Well, back to studying.

GetFuzzy2

GetFuzzy2
Originally uploaded by cwrepine.

Is this as dirty as I think it is? Note: in the Red and Black, 'Marmot' was actually 'beaver'.

You know who else reads blogs? Hitler.

As an outspoken conservative, I make myself an easy target for people to attack politically. A lot of their favorites are things like 'fascist', 'Nazi', or any other variation to imply some sort of camaraderie with Adolf Hitler.

Now, aside from the obvious, there are reasons that this really irritates me. First of all, it's factually incorrect. Hitler was a fascist and a socialist. Even people with a basic understanding of political concepts understand that fascism and socialism imply vast government control over the citizenry. Or, if you don't have a basic understanding, you can go here, and then here to learn what they are.

That being said, I don't know of any conservatives advocating more government control in America. However, this argument doesn't mean much to the critics of conservatism, because they're not concerned with the logic of the argument. They would much rather use hyperbole to compare modern day Republicans to the SS.

My favorite argument of theirs is: 'You know who else was in favor of ? Hitler.' The reasoning behind this is incredible. Some of the more common examples are 'You know who else was patriotic? Hitler.' -- 'You know who else hated Communists? Hitler.' -- 'You know who else wanted a strong military? That's right...Hitler.'

Thus, if you're patriotic, think communism is stupid, and want a strong military...you obviously read Mein Kampf religiously and adhere to every aspect of Nazism. That's ridiculous. That's like saying 'You know who else liked peanut better and jelly sandwiches? Hitler.' or 'You know who else watched American Idol? Hitler.' By that logic, you're probably a Nazi, aren't you? You Jew-hating bastard.

Since when does the merit of anything depend on historical figures? Jesus was a carpenter. Does that mean that all carpenters are righteous people? Ronald Reagan liked jelly beans. Are all people who like jelly beans brilliant statesmen? Moses had a speech impediment. Does that mean all people with speech impediments should start a religion? Hmm...

Hitler also despised organized religion, advocated abortion, and wanted the government to be seen as the highest authority. By that logic, modern liberals are more like Hitler than conservatives, right? No. That's stupid.

The relevance of an ideology should depend on its objective merits, not the fact that some evil madman happened to have a distorted agreement with certain aspects of it.

And aside from the fact that it's factually inaccurate to consider Hitler a conservative, it's intellectually lazy. People don't have to like conservatism, but they shouldn't be able to win an argument simply by comparing us to Hitler. If it was that easy, I'd just compare every liberal to Jimmy Carter or Mao Zedong and be done with it.