People suck.

**Disclaimer: If you're in the mood to laugh or are looking for something funny today, well, it's not your day. You might wanna come back later. This next one is a downer. Sorry. Maybe some other time.

All of my roommates are reasonably big Sister Hazel fans, so by virtue of the fact that they listen to them a lot, I listen to them a lot. I've always kind of liked them, I have their first CD, but was really never that into them. But lately there's this one song that's been striking a particular chord with me. I remember it from high school, so it probably had some specific meaning to me at the time, but now it's a little different.

The song is 'Change Your Mind'. The main part I'm talking about is:

Hey, Hey
Did you ever think
There might be another way
To just feel better,
Just feel better about today

And then:

Yeah yeah
I bet you haven't heard
A word I've said
Yeah yeah
If you've had enough
Of all your tryin'
Just give up
The state of mind you're in

If you want to be somebody else
If you're tired of fighting battles with yourself
If you want to be somebody else
Change your mind...

Well, I know I'm probably totally distorting the intended meaning of the song, but it's my head and I'll do what I want.

I've come to the conclusion that I'm too selfless for my own good. There's a point where being selfless turns into being a masochist, and I think I've been there for a while but didn't realize it.

But now I've realized that I spend entirely too much time putting other people's needs, wants, and feelings ahead of my own, and lately it's done nothing but screw me. I'll drop whatever I'm doing to help a 'friend', I'll stick up/cover for people when they don't deserve it, I'll make myself look bad so they won't, and I'll do it even when I don't get anything out of it.

I'm starting to see that I spend entirely too much time sticking up for people that could care less that I'm doing it, and defending people that aren't much worth defending in the first place.

I spend too much time worrying about hurting other people's feelings when they obviously have no qualms about hurting mine. I waste too much time and effort trying to show people that they're important to me when I'm obviously not important to them, and it's done nothing but piss me off, make me feel stupid, and depressed me.

So, I'm done. It's just not worth it anymore, so I quit. It's exhausting, and after a point, you have to realize that there's a difference between being a friend and being an idiot. So I'm changing my mind.

Sad thing is, the people that this is directed toward probably won't even notice because they're too fucking absorbed in their own in their own lives to give a rat's ass about anyone else's. So this is probably a moot point. Oh well. At least I feel slightly better. Not really, but it's a start.

Screw you guys, I'm going home.