Trusting the gut, Part II

All I know's I gotta be
Where my heart says I oughta be
It often makes no sense
In fact, I never understand these things I feel

Those of you that know me well know that I have a rather active — not to mention bizarre — dream cycle. Last night was no exception. And after one such dream, I found myself awake at 5:00 with enough nagging thoughts to ward off sleep for about an hour. (It was actually convenient because I’d forgotten to plug in my iPod before I went to bed so this way it had time to charge before I left for work. Anyway.)

I mentioned trusting my gut before. It’s worth mentioning that my gut has always told me that D.C., or at least the suburbs thereof, is the best place to advance my desired career. It might also be worth mentioning that, for the first time in a while, I’m actually listening when it says so.

Several times over the last 11 months I’ve had the feeling that I could leave this city, return to some semblance of “home” and never give it a second thought. Now that I’m in the position to make such a decision, however, something seems amiss.

When I would have such thoughts in the past, it was under the assumption that I had no roots established in “the District” and that leaving would be quick and painless. But as it stands now, my roots are deeper than I thought and leaving is actually a more saddening prospect than that of not going home.

Leave it to me to wait until month 11 of a 12-month contract to figure out that I want to hang around, but it is what it is.

One of my passions, or at least interests — after music, writing, politics, philosophy, and religion — is economics. I once had a professor explain to me that all decisions in life were economic. Not necessarily monetary, but economic. He also explained to me that everything was possible, it is only a matter of cost. Meaning, some things might be cost prohibitive, but not impossible.

If you’ve ever taken an economics class (as I’m sure most, if not all of you have) you also know the concept of opportunity cost. For a simple refresher, opportunity cost is the idea that once a decision is made you then lose the opportunity to make other decisions.

With this in mind, the perceived benefit of going back to Georgia is outweighed by the cost of leaving D.C. That may sound really robotic and calculating, and on some level I’m sure it is, but it adds a nice intellectual component to my gut feeling.

I have far too many opportunities, budding relationships, possibilities, etc. to simply pack up and leave them all behind. Those of you that know me best know that I’m very “comfort zone oriented.” That is to say that I find my comfort zone very…uh…comfortable…and don’t like leaving it. I’m trying hard to shake this, and I think retreating to Georgia would be a major setback. It would be taking the path of least resistance, the “safe” bet, etc.

I’m not much of a gambler, but I feel like I’m holding a pretty good hand and the flop was promising. It’s certainly worth sticking around to see what I get on the turn and the river. Ok, so maybe I am that much of a gambler.

The point is, the prospect of transplanting myself isn’t nearly as scary as it was a year, or even three months ago. I’m fine, I’ve been fine, and I’m going to be fine. The important people back home aren’t going to phase me out of their lives anymore than I’m going to phase them out of mine. And the really important people will find the time to visit, and me likewise. And, worse comes to worst, I can leave when I really do get sick of this place. It just hasn’t happened yet.

Of course, all this musing means precisely dick if I don’t get a job lined up in the next five weeks or so. But it’s nice to have a game plan.

...

Since the office e-mail is down (as it is much more often than it should) I have time to vent about something that I’ve been stewing over since yesterday morning.

Many of you likely heard about the terror bombing yesterday in Tel Aviv. Sadly, such an occurrence is much too common to elicit any feeling of shock — at least from me. But despite the ‘business as usual’ sentiment, this particular bombing stirred my ire more than any of the others in recent memory.

So many aspects of this attack seem to make it more brutal, at least in my opinion. First of all, there is a quote from one of the witnesses (that, incidentally, I put in today’s paper, just because I have that kind of authority) describing one of the victims of the attack:

“The father was traumatized. He went into shock. He ran to the children to gather them up and the children were screaming, ‘Mom! Mom!’ and she wasn’t answering. She was already dead.”

Spokesmen for the Hamas-lead Palestinian government justified such attacks as self-defense for the Palestinian territories. Now, I don’t know exactly what kind of threat was posed by that woman that justified her being killed in front of her husband and children. Nor do I know exactly what kind of threat existed at a bus stop in an economic hub that’s not even part of the so-called “Palestinian territories.”

I generally try to give people, and humanity in general, the benefit of the doubt. But events such as this genuinely test my faith. The wholesale disregard for all things sacred is simply dumbfounding, if not horrifying.

Say what you will about the supposed “occupation of Palestine” or the “plight of the Palestinians,” but I still don’t see how anything can justify the targeting, killing and slaughter of innocent people. Much less during Passover and the day after Easter.

But this blatant disregard for all things decent is nothing new, either. In Iraq, Sunni bombers attacked a Shi’ite funeral. Israel was once invaded on Yom Kippur.

I’ve long held the belief that the title of “human being” was not permanent. That is to say, every person is born with the title, but it can be revoked. When a person rapes and murders a child, they are, in my opinion, no longer considered human. Humans don’t rape and murder children. Likewise, when a person straps explosives to his body and targets innocent civilians, he has waived his right to be called human — as have all those that celebrate and justify such actions.

What bothers me most is the unwillingness of people to stand up to this nonsense. These actions are at the very least accepted, if not condoned, under the guise that “it’s a culture that we don’t understand, and that’s just what Muslims do.” No. That’s not good enough. I don’t have to be a member of the culture to understand that attacks like this are subhuman. Human beings do not randomly and maliciously kill other human beings. It’s time that more people said that, particularly in the Arab world. But it’s not going to happen.

A woman is dead, shredded by shrapnel as her husband and children looked on. She is one of eight other victims whose families are today all experiencing the same anguish. As are the families of the hundreds, if not thousands, of other victims over the years.

And for what? It’s something that I still, and likely always will, have difficulty fathoming.

Trusting the gut, Part I

It’s been a while since I’ve dealt with insomnia, but for whatever reason, this time it’s not so bad. Every now and then it’s nice to stare at the ceiling and pick my own brain ‘til the wee hours of the morning. Of course, I’m probably going to regret this when my alarm goes off, but I’ll enjoy it for the time being.

I have a tendency to make quick judgments on things and stick to them. Often I get a lot of flak for such seemingly rushed decisions, but after reading a book called “B|ink” my Ma|co|m G|adwell, I don’t feel so bad about it.

The human mind, specifically the subconscious mind, is and can be quite powerful. The subconscious mind especially has the ability to make quick decisions based on limited information. And I find, at least for me, it’s right more often than not...even when I don’t like to admit it.

I pride myself on having sensitive instincts. When I have a bad feeling about something, it usually bears out to be justified. Likewise, when I have a good feeling about something, it usually turns out to be justified as well.

Granted, there is a distinct difference between having a certain feeling and acting on it. In some of my more masochistic moments, I’ve knowingly acted against my instincts, my gut if you will, much to my own peril. I’ve also let various opportunities slide by me because I didn’t trust myself enough to follow my gut.

I’m starting to learn, however, that trusting my gut can be just as effective as agonizing over and incessantly analyzing an issue. This newfound knowledge is going to come in quite handy in the coming weeks as I yet again have to plan out of the rest of my life.

More on this later. I’m still picking.

My horoscope for today

I'm not making this up:

Your perverse sense of humor and unusual creativity just might save the day when dealing with a tough situation.

Hmm. I find that my perverse sense of humor tends to only make tough situations worse.

Another evening with Mr. Folds

This past Thursday I attended my fifth Ben Fo|ds concert, and it was great as usual. For what it's worth, it probably ties for the second best show I've seen (with the symphony). And since many of the people that read this are fellow Folds fans, I thought I'd give a recount of the evening, along with pictures.

First of all, he was playing on campus at the University of Mary|and and there was minimal publicity for the concert. It wasn't listed on his website or Ticke+master, and I only heard about it through a Maryland alumna who happened to be surfing the school's website. So, unlike most times when I have months to look forward to a show, this time I only had six days. And due to the fact that tickets were only available on campus, I had to scramble to find someone on campus willing to buy a ticket for me. But it all fell into place rather nicely.

The smaller venue made the performance more intimate, which is always nice. We had seats on the third row back from the pit, which for $10 were pretty sweet. Here's the view of the stage:



The opening act was...um...some guy with a guitar and a drummer. I don't really remember. It's not important. No one was into it. He played a lot of slow songs and occasionally tried rocking out -- all by himself.



We actually passed the time playing cards and taking pictures of each other, as seen here:



That's Allison and me trying to take a picture and not being able to keep a straight face. Each picture got progressively worse, and thus progressively funnier. Those have since been deleted and are to be seen by no one.



That's better.

After much anticipation, Ben and his band finally came out. The first song selection was a little curious -- "Give Judy My No+ice" -- a rather slow song about a bad relationship. If I may be a total Ben Fo|ds nerd for a second, I prefer the EP version of the song as opposed to the album version, but it's still a good song.

Early in the set, he did an improv song (which are always hilarious) about College P@rk and how he ate at McDonald's and wished he hadn't. After a five minute piano vamp, he ended with a hearty "God bless mutha fuckin' College P@rk." A good time was had by all.



He talked with the audience quite a bit, which I always enjoy. His band also performed some good back up vocals on songs like "Missing the W@r" and "Jesusl@nd." One of the highlights of the evening was the rendition of "Bi+ches ain't Shit." It ended with an audience sing-a-long of the chorus. The house lights were turned up and everything. It was very Kumbayah, only more vulgar.

In the middle of the set, the band members left the stage and Ben did a bit of a solo show. It was cool to get to see him in his 'natural state' for a while. I actually prefer it that way. He played "Brick," which is a little unusual, but it was still a good performance.

When the band came back out, they decided to "turn it to 11," for those of you that know Spinal T@p. It then became, hands down, the loudest Ben Folds show I've ever been to...if not the loudest concert I've been to period.

They busted out "The Secret Life of Morg@n D@vis," which is a pretty rare find. They also did "N@rcolepsy," and I thought my ear drums were going to burst. I loved every second of it. They even did "R0ckin' the Suburbs," which is another rarity. For what it's worth, it sounds a lot cooler on piano than guitar. At the end of the song, Ben picked up the bass and played a bass solo while the bassist walked around the stage screaming "You better look out because I'm gonna say fuck," as pictured here:



The show ended, as it often does, with "No+ the S@me" and audience back up vocals. It's always fun, but nothing to write home about. The encore included "There's Alw@ys Someone Cooler Th@n You," yet another rarity. I'd actually never heard it played lived before, and thoroughly enjoyed it. The finale was "One Angry Dw@rf" and it was pretty incredible. It ended with an authoritative stool throw into the keyboard, which is always nice.

It was actually the first time my ears were ringing after a Ben Fo|ds show, which, if you've ever ridden in my car, you know is quite a feat. It was loud, it lasted two and a half hours, and I was able to introduce the magic that is a Ben Fo|ds show to someone who hadn't seen it before. Not bad for a Thursday night.

He does, she does, let's party.

Ok so last weekend I traveled some 2200 miles to be in my best friend's wedding. And no, I'm not talking about that stupid Ju|ia Robert's movie. It was a good time. I won't bore you with stories about people you don't know, and plus, uh, several of them are...ahem...not appropriate for blogging material. But I will share pictures. So here you go.

Here's Aaron (the groom, hence the hat), my brother and me at the Rehearsal dinner. Those of us in the wedding party all got shirts that said "Groomsman" on them. I'm wearing that to every club I go to from now on. It's a friggin' girl magnet.



The rehearsal dinner was also held during Happy Hour. Two for One. Woo. It was a fun night. I wish I remembered more of it.



My brother an I before the wedding. He doesn't smile in pictures either. Must be hereditary.



Aaron before the wedding. What's he so excited about?



My brother and Kati's (the bride) sister walking in:



Kati's other sister and me walking in:



The ring bearers. Aren't they cute?



The bridesmaids. Aren't they cute?:



Exchanging the vows:



You may kiss the bride. Aw yeah.



Mr. and Mrs. Aaron Quinn:



The wedding party. My brother and I were the tallest ones. Makes for humorous pictures.



The toast at the reception:



What would a wedding reception be without the E|ectric Slide?



If you're interested, I posted the rest of the pictures on my Facebook account. But before I go, here's the cutest picture ever, of Aaron's nephew Gabriel.



Aw.

What he said.

Charles Kr@uthammer is the man. He's pretty much the smartest man alive, and has an uncanny ability to predict political outcomes. He called the Harie++ Miers debacle exactly, and last week he predicted that the immigration bill would fail — which all indications currently...um...indicate...that it will.

At any rate, he wrote a piece on immigration policy today that says more or less exactly what I said a couple of days ago, only smarter sounding and read by more people. I recommend it.

Immigration redux

With the recent introduction of immigration reform legislation, there’s been a flare of the immigration debate that certainly warrants comment. This is quite a broad issue, so I’ll do my best to distill it down to the main points.

First of all, my opinion on immigration hasn’t changed (for reference, go here and here). I’m actually quite pro-immigrant and pro-immigration, as I think most Americans are. What bothers me is the prospect of illegal immigration and those immigrants that do not wish to assimilate into American culture.

There are some on the right that seem to believe that rounding up and deporting the 11 or 12 million illegal immigrants is a viable solution to this problem. This proposal is, as the kids say these days, totally whack. Not only is such a scheme logistically and financially prohibitive, but it would never…ever…ever…pass political muster.

Likewise, on the left, those claiming that open borders are good and that illegal immigrants somehow have a “right” to come to this country are equally tone deaf. People from other countries don’t have the “right” to cross our border anymore than we have the “right” to cross theirs. And once here, they don’t have any “rights” beyond the basic universal human rights — just as an American wouldn’t have full rights if he entered any other national illegally. That’s just how it works.

To be sure, the vast majority of immigrants in this country — illegal or otherwise — are decent, hardworking people. But that’s not enough. If you want to come to America, you should want to become American.

And that’s the problem with many of the immigrants that have taken to the streets in the last couple of weeks to protest the proposed legislation — they don’t seem to want to become Americans. They waved Mexican flags. They carried signs written in Spanish. They chanted ‘Chicano power.’ Not exactly a message of unity and assimilation, and certainly not likely to win many friends in the general American population.

I would venture a guess that most Americans would be more comfortable with immigration if they felt that immigrants were going to “play the game.” That is to say, assimilate into American culture, learn English, play more of a role in the American economy (by this I mean actually reinvest earnings into the economy rather than sending most of them back to their native countries) and in general contribute to American society.

That isn’t to say, of course, that immigrants should abandon their culture or heritage. But it would benefit all parties, both culturally and economically, if immigrants were better assimilated into American public life.

In terms of policy, there is a faction of the Republican party that reacts to the word “amnesty” much in the way that Gremlins react to water. I agree with this sentiment…in principle. If there was a proposal that arbitrarily legalized the millions of people that disregarded our laws to come here, that may very well lead to a revolt among the populace. But to my knowledge, there is no such proposal and such sentiments are misguided.

What many anti-amnesty advocates fail to understand is that earned legalization is not amnesty. Forcing immigrants to pay a fine or series of fines, requiring them to pay taxes and learn English, and placing them on a form of probation where they can be deported for committing a crime is not amnesty. It’s not saying “all is forgiven.”

All that said, however, such a plan is absolutely meaningless if we maintain our porous borders and lax immigration law enforcement. We cannot hope to reform immigration if the flood of illegal immigrants never subsides.

In my opinion, a wall/fence/other prohibitive system should be built on our borders and our immigration laws should be vigorously enforced. I also believe, however, that immigrants already in the country after such a program begins should be grandfathered in and allowed to traverse a “path to legalization,” which would include the payment of fines (that should amount to more than the cost of immigrating legally, so as to provide a disincentive to immigrate illegally), a requirement to learn English and obtain a tax ID number, and probation — meaning, if an immigrant commits a violent/aggravated crime, they are deported, they do not pass go, they do not collect $200 and they relinquish their “grandfathered” status.

This is the only way I can think of to “punish” illegal immigrants without deporting them or simply awarding them amnesty. It also seems fairer to those immigrating legally, as that process would remain less expensive and less strict. And it would also serve as crime deterrent and prevention. At least it does in my head.

Thoughts?