Honestly, how many pictures do you need of a tree?

Today marked the beginning of D.C.'s famed Cherry B|ossom Festiva|, and I gotta say, I couldn't be more excited. I thoroughly enjoy and event that quadruples the city's population while simultaneously blocking off massive stretches of parking. And the traffic -- glorious. To wit, I had softball practice this morning, and it took me an hour and a half to find a spot. It was fantastic. In fact, I was so inspired by the whole experience that I penned the following haiku:

They're just trees, people
Please just let me park my car
Get out of my town

So many Asians
Taking pictures, driving slow
With their blinkers on

Annoying children
Upset about seeing trees
There's no Mickey Mouse

Parking lots are full
Park in the grass, get ticket
Should have used Metro

Walk about a mile
Sidewalks packed while fatties eat
Hot dogs they don't need

Sea of red brake lights
Use the other damn pedal
I want to go home

Respek.

But if we just talk to them, maybe they'll understand...

"Peace will come when the Arabs love their children more than they hate us."

People wonder why we can't use non-violent and or diplomatic tactics against militant Islam in the same way it was used to defeat segregation (ala M@rtin Lu+her King), gain Indian Independence from Britain (ala Gh@ndi) or end the Co|d War (ala Re@gan). Quite simply, Southern racists, British imperialists and Soviet communists were, for the most part, rational actors. Even in the case of the Soviets -- who were arguably hellbent on our destruction -- they weren't hellbent enough to sacrifice themselves in the process. The threat of their own annihilation was enough of a deterrent. In short, they could be reasoned with.

There's no reasoning with people who gleefully sacrifice themselves and their children -- with the promise of paradise, no less -- for the destruction and murder of others. They simply have to be destroyed like the cancer that they are.

"Oh, but extremists only make up 5-10 percent of all Muslims." Be that as it may, 5-10 percent of all Muslims still constitutes around 50-100 million people. Or, for those scoring at home, somewhere between the entire population of South Korea and the entire population of Mexico.

So, you know, no big deal.

And now that Iran has taken 15 British soldiers hostage, it seems like they're trying to bait the British (and, by extension, us) into a conflict. Judging by the public's appetite (in both countries) for another war, that actually might be a smart move on Iran's part. So I guess we've got that to look forward to.

Sleep soundly, Metropolis.

It really is sad how fast my life comes to a screeching halt when gmail goes down. Just sayin'. This can't be normal.

Overkill

Just like the song. Or maybe just over-stimulation. Either way, it's entirely inappropriate to be blogging at this hour. But impropriety is no match for insomnia, and thus here I am.

Maybe it was the panel discussion on Iraq I had to attend earlier. I found it quite stimulating. Stimulating in the sense that it required more self control than normal to keep myself from leaping across the table and throttling two of the panelists. I don't want to get into it, but suffice it to say that the idea that there is any sort of non-biased media out there is simply laughable -- and those that profess to be such while at the same time pounding your fist into the table and shouting 'disaster' earn nothing but my scorn and disdain.

Or maybe it was the nail-biting basketball games on late tonight. It's probably best that Georgia isn't in the tournament, because then I'd be even more of a wreck. It's bad enough getting worked up over keeping my bracket alive. (Which, for the record, is probably doing better than yours. That's right. I said it. In the immortal words of Stu@rt Sco++ -- booyah.) Now that I've said that, it would be only fitting for UNC, Florida, Oregon and Georgetown all to lose tomorrow. But, as I often do, I digress.

Most likely what is keeping me up are things that I can't, or at least shouldn't, mention just yet -- lest I jinx myself. It would appear that people are -- against conventional wisdom, mind you -- beginning to take me seriously. And against my better judgment, I'm letting them. It's an all-around horrifying experience. Here's hoping they don't find out I'm just winging it.

And here's hoping I don't regret working with sharp objects on four hours of sleep.

I'm working on a rather somber post about militant Muslims using children as weapons, so as a preemptive apology for that, I thought you might enjoy the following video as much as I did. Although, I'm not sure all of you share my utter despisal of all things R. Ke||y.

Trapped In The Drive-Thru

Is that freedom I smell?

Sniff, sniff. Hey, I think it is!

I've been insanely busy lately, so my blogging has been fairly hit and miss. I still don't have a ton of time, but there are a couple of pictures I felt like sharing. So here goes.

Here's New+ Gingrich and me at CPAC. He's signing my book. Cool.



Then, here are some pictures from this event I went to today where President Bush spoke to his political appointees. Tony Snow "opened." He made us do the wave. Twice. I'm not kidding. There were cabinet secretaries doing the wave. You see what happens when media isn't allowed in to these things? Anyway, back to the pictures.







I might actually give a summary later. I've finally gotten to a point where I can lift my head up and look around for a little while, so my blogging might pick up. We'll see.

For what it's worth, I've been hooked on the following songs lately:

Hey There De|i|ah, P|ain Whi+e T's
Alive, Pear| J@m
Sep+ember, Ear+h Wind and Fire
Dixie|and De|ight, Alabama (it's just so damn catchy...)