Moderation means no assassination

The whole political commentary thing was starting to get old, especially now that it's kinda my job. So, I'm gonna get back to what the 'original intent' of my blog was supposed to be, and use it as a depository for my quirky social observations and general commentary, a la Jerry Seinfeld. And just what IS the deal with airline food? And who makes those little plastic things on the end of shoe laces? And what are they called, anyway?

Don't get me wrong, there's still going to be a noticeable political tilt here, I was just starting to feel too much like a participant when I'd rather be an observer. As such, there have been a few general topics I've been knocking around in my head for quite a while, and now I suppose would be a good a time as any to let them out.

First of all, I'm going to start with the idea of political moderates. For the most part, political moderates piss me off. And not because we have different views or whatever, but because they're not really moderate.

There are several different kinds of 'moderates.' First of all, there are those who could really give a crap one way or the other about politics, so they're not going to get all riled up about much of anything. I'm fine with these people, because they are, by definition, moderate.

Then there are those that would be more accurately described as 'independents.' These are people that are for the most part apathetic, but do have some sort of interest in politics. They might favor low taxes, but also accept abortion, or vice versa. Whatever it is, on average they end up in the middle of the political spectrum. I'm fine with these people as well, as they're honest about what they are.

But then there are the people I like to refer to as the 'snobby moderates.' They're people that carry their moderation around like a trophy, turning their nose up to both sides of an argument. These people are known to say things like 'I'm not liberal or conservative, I'm in the middle. I'm moderate...' as if being a moderate in this case is any more intellectually rigorous or stimulating than the knee-jerk politicos they claim to be avoiding.

Simply coming out in the middle of every argument does not make you smarter that or superior to anyone. It makes you lazy and pompous. So shut up and form your own opinion instead of waiting for other people to form theirs and wiggling in between. That's stupid.

Winning the gold medal in the 'Piss Charles Off' olympics are the people that claim to be moderate but, in fact, are not. I'm sure there are people on the right side of American politics, but my experience has been mostly with people on the left.

I have several friends/acquaintances that claim to be politically moderate, but only do so to avoid being labeled the flaming liberals that they are.

During a band trip to Dallas, Texas (the city where JFK was assassinated, for those of you that went to public school) one such 'moderate' made the statement 'Why do only the good presidents get assassinated? Why don't we ever assassinate the ones that deserve it? Like the one we have now...'

Now, you're entitled to your opinion, however grotesque and disgusting it may be, but once you condone, if not justify, if not pine for the assassination of ANY freely and democratically elected leader, you've given up your seat at the 'moderate' table. You've made reservations at the 'extreme radical' table. Anyone wanna argue that Pat Robertson is a moderate? Anyone? Anyone? No? Just checking.

In the same vein, you no longer get to call yourself a moderate if you:

-Have ever said, or joined a facebook group called, 'George W. Bush is not MY President.' Because he is, regardless of your voting for him or not. Denying reality is not a 'moderate' thing to do.

-Adamantly support gay marriage. I'm sorry, but favoring something the vast majority of Americans oppose does not make you a moderate. At least not in America. If you want to be a moderate on gay marriage, move to France. Or northern California. They're pretty much the same.

-Have ever used the word 'hate' to describe your feelings of a politician. Much like the assassination bit, you have a right to your opinion, but don't say you're a moderate and turn around and talk about how much you hate someone. Hate is not something that good moderates do. Or is that Buddhists? Well, either way.

Bottom line, you only get to be called a moderate if you act like a moderate. If you act like a liberal, you should be called a liberal. If it's truly how you feel, you shouldn't be ashamed of it (well, you should, but you shouldn't mind being called one.)

Which will serve as a nice segue into my next observation. Stay tuned.