Well screw you too

Remember that nice, conciliatory post from yesterday? Yeah, I was just kidding. Now I'm pissed off.

In what seems to be a continuation of 'Jesus Day' (which I suppose now is more accurately described as 'Jesus Weak'), there were two 'preachers' today at Tate Center to condemn more or less everyone to hell. Each one was holding a rather large sign with quite a thorough list of all people that are apparently hellbound. One sign had the heading 'God is angry with the sinner', and the other read 'You make me sick'. The younger of the two preachers was sporting a stylish 'Jesus saves from hell' T-shirt, with 'Repent or burn' on the back.

The lists on the signs were much too long to list ver batim, so I jotted down a few of my favorites -- lazy Christians, sports nuts (actually spelled "sport's nuts", make your own joke), sex, drugs, and rock music, computer freaks, party animals, Dykes on Bikes, rebellious women (well, maybe they weren't all wrong...haha), Roman Catholics (duly noted), child molesting homosexuals (though no mention was made of heterosexual child molesters), and my personal favorite -- "Jews from the synagogue of Satan".

I'm not sure I even understand that last one. Is there some secret sect of Judaism that I don't know about? Or are all Jews considered to be from the Synagogue of Satan? I've been in several synagogues, but don't really remember Satan being mentioned...is this where people get the idea that Jews have horns?

At any rate, I was rather alarmed to find myself on the lists more than once. But I quickly got over it when I realized how stupid these people were. In fact, the only people that looked stupider than these guys were the godless hippies trying to argue with them. There's no arguing with people like that, and all that happens is people getting irritated and going around in philosophical circles.

Now don't get me wrong, as a follower of the Old Testament, I'm all for having a God that's into hellfire and brimstone. That's just how I roll. He turned a whole city full of gays into piles of salt for crying out loud. He doesn't mess around.

That being said, I defer the job of condemnation and anger to God himself. 'Cause I've read the Bible (give or take a few pages) and no where in there did I find anything about yelling at people for being sinners. Because everyone's a sinner in one way or another. (Seriously...there's something like 613 Biblical laws...odds are you're breaking one right now. Stop it.)

Like I said yesterday, yelling at people isn't going to change their minds. It's just going to piss them off. There's a ton of things that those preachers probably do that I think are wrong, and apparently they believe I'm down with the devil. But I'm not going to change for them, and I really don't see them giving up bacon and Christmas for me. They're going to interpret the Bible however they want to confirm their beliefs, and I'm going to do the same (no matter that my way is much more logical...) and that's just how it is. I'm not much for saving other people's souls. Maybe I'm a horrible person, but it's your soul. You do what you want with it. But I will say this...Hell's not nearly as scary and threatening when you don't believe in it.

Man, we're all gonna feel like dumbasses when we die and have to answer to Vishnu.