At this point, the globe can't warm soon enough

I've never been all that convinced by the whole global warming thing. Is the climate changing? Yes. But that's what climate does. Is man causing it? We don't know. I'm guessing marginally, if at all. In all likelihood, it's a natural cycle.

All that being said, if there is man-made global warming, it needs to hurry up and start warming. This whole going-to-work-when-it's-negative-four-degrees thing is getting old quick.

Thus, working under the assumption that global warming is man-made, I'm doing my part to speed it along. To this end, I've left my car idling even while I'm at work, I leave both of my televisions and computers on 24 hours a day, I sleep with the lights on, I have my thermostat set to 85 and leave the windows open, leave the freezer and refrigerator doors open at all times, and leave the oven set to broil.*

I hope all of you will join me in my quest. This planet has been too cold for too long. It's time to warm it up. Do it for the children.






Notes:

*Ok, that's not entirely true.