Ugh.

Tonight was not a good night. And yes, it’s 4:00 in the morning. It started off well enough. My "boss" (I use quotes because he's only five years older than I am, and he doesn't exactly treat me like I'm his underling) invited me out with some of his friends. One of them was leaving to work on a congressional campaign in Florida and was going to be gone for nine months, so this was a semi-goodbye affair. So, we went out, there was some drinking and we ended up at a salsa club where another mutual friend was playing in the band. So it was cool...for a while.

Upon meeting, I was introduced to everyone and my boss (henceforth known as "Patrick") made some comment about me being a Republican. Which is perfectly fine. I understand that being in D.C. I'm somewhat of a novelty, and in some way it becomes a source for the entertainment of others. He certainly didn't mean any harm by it.

I'm always a little wary, however, of announcing my party affiliation in public. It's certainly not that I'm ashamed of what I believe, or that I can't defend my beliefs, or anything like that. It's just that I understand that when I'm within the confines of "The District" that I'm ideologically outnumbered nine to one -- literally. Not only that, but anyone who lives in D.C. already tends to favor one end or the other of the political spectrum. That is to say, there aren't many moderates in D.C. So, no matter how well I argue my point, no matter how airtight my examples may be, no matter how logical my reasoning, any political argument I enter in this city will be a losing proposition. I've accepted that, and thus I generally avoid the topic altogether when I'm in a social setting and the main objective is to enjoy myself.

Tonight, however, that was apparently not an option. As word spread -- along with inebriant -- that I was in fact more conservative than, say, Cindy Sheehan, two particular members of the group became increasingly indignant and, long story short, I ended up literally cornered and being commanded to defend my beliefs.

"Are you really a Republican?" one of them asked me condescendingly.
"I guess you could say that."
"Why?!" he said, seemingly in genuine disbelief, "It's just beyond me that anyone would think that way."
"I know it is," I said, "and that's most of your problem."

I don't particularly enjoy verbally discussing politics, mostly because I stutter and can rarely say exactly what I want to say the way I want to say it. But add to that the fact that it was 1:00 in the morning, I'm having to yell over salsa music, I'm trying to have a good time and I'm backed into a corner and having my intelligence insulted by two people I've known for all of 3 hours, and I really don't enjoy verbally discussing politics.

I won't bore you with a word for word transcript, but here's a synopsis of our "conversation."

There are many reasons that I'm a conservative (I shy away from using partisan terms like 'Republican' because, as I'm finding more and more, parties don't really do it for me.) But I figured I'd start off by saying that I favor low taxes.

"Low taxes? Well, unless you make more than $200,000 a year, low taxes don't apply to you." I was told.

Well, first of all, that is incorrect. As it stands now, being a single person and being in the income bracket that I am, my effective tax rate is close to zero. So yes, low taxes do apply to me. But more over, I believe that I should have the right to keep as much of the money I earn as possible and that the government should only be privy to what is absolutely necessary. This will force the government to prioritize and make itself more efficient. That answer, was of course, not sufficient for them.

My next justification for being a conservative was that I favored free markets. Again, I was asked how free markets had ever benefited me personally.

My answer to this question was slightly more complicated than my first answer, but not much. Free markets benefit all of us because they provide the best quality products at the lowest prices, as well as encourage development. I can buy a 27" HDTV at Best Buy for $200 because it's made in Japan by robots and shipped over here quicker and at a lower cost than it could have been made in America. Same with most other products. Eventually, virtually all production will be done without humans, and there's absolutely nothing wrong with that. I understand that this seems unfair to 'the little guy' in the short term, but in the long run it's better for society as a whole. Through history, if we'd sacrificed technological advancement for the sake of niceties, we'd still be riding around in horse buggies because no one wanted to upset the buggy makers. Of course, this answer was not acceptable either. And I was called stupid.

We then ended up on the subject of minimum wage.

"Doesn't it bother you that the minimum wage hasn't been raised since 1996?"
"No, not really."

And why should it? Minimum wage is exactly that. The minimum. You'll have a place to live and you won't starve to death, but that's it. That's the minimum.

"Well, could you live on a minimum wage salary?" I was asked, again, dripping in condescension.
"Probably not. But that's why I don't have a minimum wage job."

Even my 18 year old brother, who is still three months away from earning a high school diploma, doesn't have a minimum wage job. Minimum wage jobs are not meant to support families. It may sound cruel, but if a person is working a minimum wage job in this country, they obviously did something along the way to end up in such a situation. I personally believe that the minimum wage should be low enough to give people motivation to better themselves. I see no nobility in helping the poor stay poor. Raising the minimum wage isn't going to all of a sudden stamp out poverty. The only thing that stamps out poverty is wealth. And wealth doesn't come from minimum wage jobs.

"I just don't see why other people's salaries are my concern." I offered, semi-rhetorically.

"Why do you think you're so successful?" I was asked.
"Well, because I work hard, I have a certain talent, and I have a decent education."
"How would your education help you if you were working at a place like W@l-Mrt? How would you be any better of an employee with your college degree than some guy with a GED?"
"Well, first of all, because of my education, I'm not working at W@l-Mart, so your question doesn't make sense."

There was no answer.

We then touched on several other topics including public education, hate crimes, and the like. To make a long story slightly shorter, I was repeatedly told that I was acting against my best interests by being a conservative. I was also told, however, that I was being selfish in that I didn't have more sympathy for poor people. So, apparently, I wasn't being selfish enough AND I was being too selfish...at the same time. Don't think about that too long or you'll get a nosebleed.

The night ended with a frustrated walk home.

I don't get homesick very often, but tonight was one such rare occasion. It's not even so much that I missed home as much as it was I missed being in a place where people don't look at you like you have three heads for being pro-business, individualistic, and determined not to suckle the government's teat.

At any rate, there’s a massive anti-Bush rally in town tomorrow and I’ve got to get up and go downtown so as to take embarrassing pictures of hippies and post them on the internet. That’ll cheer me up.