Whore: (hôr, hor) n. a person considered as having compromised principles for personal gain. Synonyms: Cindy Sheehan

My post about Cindy Sheehan yesterday was a little harsh, but I meant every word of it. I thought I would get it out of my system and be done with it. And for a while, I had. But then I learned that she keeps a blog of her experiences down in Texas.

Ah yes, the tragic 5th stage of grief — the stage where you post asinine ramblings onto a website for the whole world to see. I guess that comes sometime after the ‘denial’ and ‘anger’ stages, but sometime before the ‘acceptance’ stage. Grieving mother, indeed.

Here are some of my ‘favorite’ narcissistic passages from her latest entry, followed by my snide remarks:

“…one of our neighbors fired off a shot gun. He said he was shooting at birds, but he is tired of us being there and he wants us to leave. I didn't get to talk to him, but I told the media that if he wanted us to leave so badly, why doesn't he tell his other neighbor, George, to talk to me.”

It’s Texas. People shoot off guns for no reason. They also do it to scare birds away. Dirty, annoying, sandal-wearing, irrational, whiny birds. Oh, and in case you forgot, his ‘neighbor George’ DID meet with you.

“By the way, in case I forgot to blog it last night…”

Yes, in the event that you were so overcome with grief that you forgot to post something to your website…holy crap…

“I couldn't walk through Camp Casey or the Crawford Peace House today without hugging people and getting my picture taken. Now I know how Mickey Mouse feels at Disneyland.”

How appropriate…you feel like a goofy caricature of a rodent that dawdles around for the amusement of others.

“I just wish George had as much courage in his entire body as Casey had in his little pinky, then he would meet with me.”

He already HAS you dreadful wench…

“If George or anybody else thinks I am leaving before my mission is "accomplished" they have another think coming. I will stay the course. I will finish the mission. I will take no prisoners.”

Well, if your ‘mission’ is to meet with the President, you accomplished that more than a year ago. If your ‘mission’ is to be an intolerable, attention-craving embarrassment, then that too has been accomplished. So pretty much either way, you can go home now. It’s probably about time you had a shower, anyway.

And uh…I appreciate the hyperbole and all, but exactly what prisoners aren’t you taking? And for the record, a ‘k’ is not a ‘g’. But I suppose I understand your typo, being so overcome with grief and all.

“By the way, we had about 7 counter protesters today and hundreds at Camp Casey...don't let the mainstream media say differently.”

That very well may be, but I would venture a guess that most ‘counter-protesters’, i.e. people like me, oh I dunno, have jobs that they have to go to during the day. Just a hunch. So don’t go getting all high and mighty because a couple hundred hippies didn’t have anything better to do. Woodstock had like 300,000. Your little gathering isn’t all that impressive. And the ‘mainstream media’ is what’s keeping your face on the news every day, so I wouldn’t go around mocking it.

Cindy Sheehan has been reduced to a child purposefully irritating her parents. No matter how many times she’s scolded, she gives a sheepish grin and says ‘What? I’m not doing anything. I’m just minding my own business…’ But she knows good and well what she’s doing. She knows George W. Bush isn’t going to meet with her again, but she’s certainly going to take the opportunity to throw a tantrum for the whole nation to see. And like any other 9 year old, the more people that enable her, the more theatrical she’s going to get. So I guess we have that to look forward to...